Hilarious Jokes

1.Doctor to Mrs. Spew: “Is your daughter always stuttering like that?”
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Mrs. Spew shakes her head: “No, only when she wants to say something.”

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2. A  man is reading his newspaper and says to his wife: “Michelle, look. Here is an article about how women use about twice as many words per day as men do.”

The wife responds: “That’s because we have to tell you everything twice”

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3. One shop owner asks another, “So, have you had any reactions yet to your ad that you’re looking for a night guard?”

“Yeah, we got robbed tonight.”

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4. “Have you been sleeping by an open window, like I told you?” asks a doctor his patient.

“Yes, just like you said, doc.”

“And is the bronchitis gone now?”

“Not yet, so far the only things gone are my laptop and cellphone.”

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5. Why do monkeys carry their babies on their backs?

It would be a bit hard dragging a buggy all the way up the trees…